Peeps
by Melibells
Summary: In which Ichigo, with Rukia's help, finds a new appreciation for the sugar-coated marshmallow treats, and reaffirms that his family is nosy and obnoxious.


This one-shot doesn't follow any particular story arc in Bleach. I was just inspired by the recent Peep diorama competitions (Omg! Look it up! Some are HILARIOUS!) and this cooked up in my brain. I had to write it so I could get it out of my head in order to better focus on my research papers due next week.

I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer 1: I don't own Bleach. Dammit…

Disclaimer 2: I don't own Peeps…aside from the ones I purchased and ate…

Disclaimer 3: Contains citrus-y material and strong language. Reader discretion is advised.

Disclaimer 4: Several Peeps were harmed in the making of this story. Reader discretion is advised.

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**Peeps**

"What the HELL?"

The family room looked as if the contents of a candy store had exploded and adhered to every visible scrap of surface area in the usually well-kept area. A slight gasp he heard just over his shoulder indicated to him that his reaction was indeed justified. He looked back at the wide-eyed expression of utter astonishment on Rukia's face as she took in the pastel mayhem that his family wrought upon the interior living space. Needless to say, they went a little overboard this year.

"Your… family did all of this?" Rukia asked, her voice soft with what Ichigo couldn't determine was awe, incredulity, or horror. It could have been a combination of all three. He sure as hell felt that way.

His scowl was all he had to offer in answer.

Pink, blue, and yellow streamers were arranged (if it could be described that way) in a loose web across the entire ceiling. Origami flowers in nearly all the colors of the spectrum were everywhere; hanging from the ceiling, arranged in bouquets, affixed to the walls, perched on the television, taped to the windows… rotating lazily from streamers attached to the spokes of the ceiling fan…

His eye twitched.

They just had to cover the furniture with the most obnoxiously girlie fabric they could possibly find. And to top it all off, several hundred (by his estimation) plush bunny, chick, and lamb toys greeted him and Rukia with annoyingly saccharine countenances.

It was beyond creepy.

Thoroughly disturbed, Ichigo made his way to the kitchen, swatting at errant streamers in his path and leaving Rukia to gawk at the handiwork of his neurotic family. He noticed a note on the fridge before he had a chance to open it, and removed the magnet holding it in place.

Dear Ichigo,

Dad, Karin, and I went to the spring festival downtown. We'll be back later this afternoon. We decorated for a party I'm having this weekend, so don't mess anything up! And don't eat all the candy!

Love,

Yuzu

With a heavy sigh he set the note on the counter and proceeded to the fridge. He grabbed a cold soda off the top shelf and was just about to close the fridge door when the thought the Rukia might like a soda as well occurred to him. Rolling his eyes he found himself reaching for another can. Better to offer her one than be chastised for not.

Making his way back to the family room he found Rukia inspecting one of the many random candy dishes of festive pastel candies about the room. He couldn't help but watch with amusement as she, after apparently much deliberation, plucked up a pink jelly-bean and popped it into her mouth. Her eyebrows raised in subsequent approval as she chewed and swallowed the piece of candy.

"Hey, I grabbed you a drink." He stated as he moved further into the abominable room, handing her the extra can while proceeding on to the unfortunate couch.

"Thanks."

He silently accepted her gratitude with the wave of a hand as he slumped heavily onto the couch, grabbed the television remote, flicked it on and over to some music channel. Something that played some decidedly abrasive rock music in an effort to reinsert some inkling of masculinity back into the room. He popped open his can and took a swig of its contents as Rukia set her bag on the floor and settled herself on the sofa as well.

"It's so…" her voice broke the disparate audio in her continued survey of the overall effect of his family's seasonal decorating efforts.

"Adorable!"

Her exclamation caught him off-guard, and unfortunately mid-drink. He couldn't help the garbled, snorting sound that accompanied the carbonated beverage's assault of his nasal passage due to involuntary inhalation. And damn, did it burn!

"Wha? Are you kidding?" Ichigo glared at her while pinching the bridge of his nose in an effort to alleviate the strong tingling in his nostrils, "It's RIDICULOUS!"

"Oh, come on Ichigo! Look how cute!"

Rukia held up a particularly fluffy stuffed bunny with big, I'm-too-cute-to-maim eyes and floppy ears and limbs. And for emphasis, she just had to crush the damned thing to her chest; its infernal eyes mocking him from the space between her breasts. With that, he found himself with a red flush creeping up his face and over his ears, plotting bunny murder, and ultimately returning his attention back to the television.

"Eh! Put that damn thing down! We've got that stupid project to work on anyways."

"Quit being grouchy," she admonished, though thankfully setting the plush rabbit aside, "It's not due until next week, so we don't have to rush."

Despite her claim to the opposite, she began rummaging through her bag, pulling out a notepad and writing utensils. She then started writing like she had never been distracted by the overwhelming cuteness that surrounded them in the first place. It made him feel slightly hypocritical for remaining in his grouchy, cross-armed slouch, but his mood had effectively been compromised for him to offer any iota of productivity.

Rukia must have noticed this, because she all of a sudden stuffed the notepad and pen under his nose and suggested that he contribute to the list that she had started for their project. With a heavy sigh he took the pad and set himself to the task. Anything to take his mind off the room and his mood. He was rather deep in concentration and made good progress on the list when Rukia's sudden exclamation claimed his attention.

"Oh my gosh! They are so CUTE!"

He looked up from what he was doing to find her gushing over a container of sugar-covered marshmallow bunnies.

He rolled his eyes.

"Those things are gross." He stated blandly, focusing back on the list. Well he tried to focus, but Rukia snatched the notepad away while popping one of the pink confections into her mouth. It was too big to eat all at once and caused her cheeks to puff out as she perused his additions to the list.

He could barely make out a muffled "They're not gross," as she tried to talk around the contents of her mouth.

Ichigo scoffed and rolled his eyes once more.

"Besides," Rukia stated more clearly now that she swallowed the marshmallow bunny, "you love candy."

"I like chocolate."

"Chocolate is candy."

"Chocolate is different."

"How…"

"Chocolate is natural."

She pulled the individually wrapped chocolate that he just grabbed from his grasp.

"Mmmhmm…real organic…" she pointed out sardonically.

"Shut up." He snatched the chocolate back, tore open the wrapper, stuffed the candy in his mouth, and chewed voraciously.

She raised an eyebrow at him as she took another marshmallow bunny, but this time she didn't stuff the entire thing in her mouth. Instead, she opted to bite off its head, which pleased Ichigo far more than it should have. It pleased him immensely to witness the cannibalistic decapitation of the overly-cute pink marshmallow creature.

But his pleasure was not only limited to the destruction of the sugary treat that entered Rukia's mouth, for his interest was highly piqued by the way the sugary treat entered her mouth. More specifically, the effect of the little pink sugar crystals that stuck to her moist lips as she swallowed the first bite.

Ichigo was glad that she was so focused on their list, because it gave him ample opportunity to watch her. When it came to matters of this nature, neither one of them were open. They both tended to hide behind veils of denial or barrages of aggression. Even though they had become close, neither one of them would acknowledge anything hinting at the more intimate. Oftentimes the two would come across as brash and unapproachable to each other as well as towards friends and acquaintances. Through time, Ichigo had to learn to recognize the subtle.

Right now, he was highly attuned to the way in which her tongue swept across her lips to capture the sugar that had stuck to the supple flesh. Right now, that seemingly innocuous action had his body wound so tight that he was seriously considering throwing caution to the wind. Consequences be damned. Even if it entailed the violent retribution of the subject of his interest.

He tried to rationalize why he was feeling this way. Why it seemed to be affecting him more potently than before. There was no =doubt that her actions were an impact, but he couldn't pinpoint what was making it worse. Maybe it was the 'décor' and his aversion to its glaring femininity that set the testosterone in his system to a roiling boil. Maybe it was his grouchiness that amplified it. Or maybe it was a combination of the two that warred with his currently unfathomable need to suppress his desires that had him casting aside all inhibitions with a single declarative "fuck it."

He pulled the notepad away from Rukia and tossed it on the coffee table.

"Ichigo…" her quick temper was just as quickly mollified as he leaned forward, a warm hand caressing her cheek and a calloused thumb traced her lower lip. Her surprised expression spurred his determination, and before she had a chance to assess the situation he captured her partially opened lips with his own.

At first she tensed, and he used the opportunity and his free hand to thread his fingers through the silky hair at the nape of her neck, bringing her closer and deepening their contact. His efforts, assertive yet gentle, were rewarded as she began to relax. She opened her mouth further, allowing him more access as her petite hands tentatively spread across his chest. The heat of her small hands was like a brand against his body even through the material of his shirt. It was more than enough invitation to curl his tongue along hers earning a satisfying moan from her throat.

He explored her mouth fervently. She was warm, moist, and tasted like the sugary marshmallows that she had been eating. He far more preferred the flavor on her rather than on its own. She leaned into him, playing with his tongue as he had done with hers. Her growing eagerness proved that his boldness was well worth the effort, and that he was safely out of danger of an ass-kicking.

Rukia caught him off-guard all of a sudden, turning the tables on him. Holy shit… he had never thought she would suck his tongue. All coherent though escaped him as did the blood from his brain, en route to his groin. His body was running on pure natural instinct as he dragged her against him. She had no choice but to straddle his lap as he held her tightly.

She didn't wear a bra.

He was so completely absorbed in everything Rukia; the feel of her, the smell of her, the taste of her, that a faint voice barely registered in his mind. It was strange though. It was getting louder. But that was silly. Rukia was kissing him. She couldn't be…

His eyes shot open.

"…y God, Ichigo! In the family room? REALLY?"

He and Rukia couldn't have separated any faster if they tried. Rukia flew sideways into a pile of pastel pillows and plushies, and Ichigo slid and landed with a hard thump in the space between the sofa and coffee table.

The two stood and quickly righted themselves, and found a horribly red-faced Yuzu halfway hidden behind her festival prizes, a thoroughly disgusted Karin, and a grinning Isshin giving them the thumbs-up.

Ichigo didn't think he could be more mortified than he was right now. He noticed that Rukia probably felt the same way as she turned and quickly began stuffing her belongings back into her bag. Rukia was first to break the impossibly awkward atmosphere.

"I…uh…should probably be going…"

He couldn't blame her.

"…uh…okay…"

"See you later…"

"…yeah…"

She practically ran to the door. Everyone watched as she made her escape, and once the door had shut behind her, the remaining occupants of the still, horribly decorated family room turned to him.

"Do you have to suck face with your girlfriend on the couch?" Karin demanded.

"That's something you should do in private, Ichigo." Yuzu chimed in.

"It was private until you three showed up!"

"Come on girls. Don't give your brother a hard time, it's only natural."

"SHUT UP, DAD!" the siblings shouted in unison.

Ichigo stood on his side of the couch glaring at his intrusive family. His old man seemed to have gotten the hint as he turned to the girls and started steering them in the direction of the kitchen, "Alright you two, don't we got some dinner to make?"

"Ugh…I think Ichigo ruined my appetite…"

"Karin…"

"Fine…come on sis."

Ichigo continued to glare at his family as they made their way into the kitchen, before he began gathering his own things to head up to his room.

"Dinner should take an hour."

"Fine."

"Oh, and Ichigo…"

He stopped and turned to regard his father impatiently.

"You should…um… probably take care of…" he made a broad gesture to indicate the groin area, "No need to torture yourself."

Ichigo blanched as the old man swiftly turned back into the kitchen.

He was wrong. He was definitely more mortified now.

He made a quick grab for his soda can and was about to retreat to the safety and privacy of his bedroom, when a little pink, sugary bunny caught his eye from the coffee table. He glared at the cursed thing as it looked innocently back at him.

"Little fucker…"

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Hehe… poor Ichigo *grins evilly*

This was far too fun to write!

Please let me know what you think *hugs*

-Mel

(note: This story does not reflect any religious holidays. If anything, it is a quasi-blend of Eastern and Western secular and commercial practices.)


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